Pages

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Parent-Teacher Meetings

* Back-dated post: Found this long draft today. I wonder why I didn't post this up? I wrote this end of last year, when Tara was about to progress from Playgroup to Nursery.






I'm not sure if other day care hold as many meetings as this one. Yesterday, I attended the fourth parents-teachers meeting. I'm not complaining though. I wish to be as involved as possible, and I'm really glad that the school's holding these meetings to keep the parents up to date on their kids.


Let me see, the first meeting I went to, Tara was only in school for 3 months. As newbies, they got a lot to adapt to, and the teachers gave us updates of how the little ones are getting on and how they have adapted to the new environment.

The second meeting, we (Bob and I) were involved in the activities that the kids do day to day. We sang with them the songs they learned, did art and craft together. I ate an egg sandwich made by my little girl and she even served us milo! At that time, my heart was just bursting with pride, and I was so touched I almost tear. That was 6 months since she attended school.

The 3rd meeting, was the first time that we did a one-to-one. Not like the group meetings before, this one was just us with the teachers. The teachers spoke at length about about Tara. Their observations about her and such. How has she grown, the vast improvement in her languange, how she interact socially. I even know how well she slept during breaks! I was able to ask a lot of questions and it was really a productive meeting for me.

And this 4th meeting, held just last night, was a whole different one. Tara has been attending daycare for 11 months already (God! Time flies!) and she will be advancing to Nursery next year. This meeting was an introduction to her Nursery teachers (different set of teachers for each level). There will be 55 children in Nursery next year, but there are 6 teachers and 1 auntie taking care of the whole brood. 4 English teachers and 2 Chinese teachers. The English teacher touched on the program they will be teaching next year. What kind of approach they will be applying. How the kids will benefit. And how the parents can play a part in further reinforcing the teachings.

During the whole briefing by 2 of the teachers, I was nodding my head so much I'm surprised I didn't sprain my neck. I'm so glad (I think I said that before), that I managed to find a school which is totally in tune with my beliefs and expectations.

Basically, next year's program will still be adpoting a thematic approach, but it won't be structured, like it was in playgroup. The teachers will see how the children will react to a particular subject or theme before they map out what they will teach the next class or next term. Instead of telling the kids what something is, for example, an ant. They don't say, this is an ant, it has how many legs, simply throwing facts at the kids not knowing if they absorb anything. The Creative teaches will instead, guide the kids through their thinking process, and kids at this imaginative stage, will spurn out lots of funny and interesting thinking. For example, the ant. The teacher will ask, what do you think this is? Where do you think it's going? Where does it come from? Do you think the ant has a home? Where do you think it's home is? Through these, the teachers will spark the kids' interest in the ant and whatever the teachers will tell them later, they will absorb with relish. The K1 students actually managed to write a book about a monkey. Imagine that!


The teachers heard about this monkey which somehow ended up in the Creative grounds, they grouped the kids together and wanted to bring them to see the monkey, but the monkey was caught and sent away before the kids laid eyes on it. They were so interested in the monkey and the teachers, through the who, what, where, when and how, guide them into writing a story about this monkey they didn't see.


This is what I usually do with Tara. I read from somewhere that parents should always put the kids in a thinking process and ask them back the same question they ask you. For a kid who always get answers straightaway, they lose the opportunity of thinking and they also lose the interest in that object, thus losing the chance to learn more about that object.

And at Nursery level, the teachers concern is not on how many words the kids can learn at the end of the year, how well they can write and read, how pretty their drawings are or how nice they can do their colouring. Their concerns are more on building the kids' character (something that I've been emphasizing on from the day I gave birth to Tara), their social interaction skills, and self help skills.

The Chinese teacher said something which I agreed totally, she said most people will say, don't lose at the starting point. But to her, it's no big deal losing at the starting point, education is a long road, what matter most is you win at the finishing point. She actually is saying, don't be kiasu and make your kids learn a lot of things they are not ready for.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Claiming her "inheritance"

Last night, I was working on my scrapbook stuff at the dining table. My 4 year old walked up to me, looked at my scrapbook trolley, picked out a bottle and ask:


Tara: Mummy, 这个是什么?

Mummy: Tara, 不要吵 Mummy.

Tara (picked out another bottle and ask): 这个呢?

Mummy: 不要动我的东西,可以吗?

Then she did a sweeping motion over my trolley and said,

Tara: Mummy, 以后你老了,这些东西都是我的。

Then she walked to the TV console, did the same sweeping motion and said,

Tara: 这些东西也全部是我的!

Amused, but very disturbed, I said to her:

Mummy: 哎, 我还没有老,你这么快就分财产了啊!!

I wonder who taught her that?? Is it too much TV drama? I really want to know where she learn that from. Even though it's really funny at the time she said that, but it disturbed me greatly. I've always been really cautious in telling my girl the right things because I want her to grow up with the right values.

No matter how true it is, some things are better left said when she's much older and can understand better. Claiming her "inheritance" now is way, way, way too early!!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Junk Food. Control Freak.

Over the years, I've been getting "well-meaning" advises whenever the topic touches on junk food. I don't give Tara junk food. For the first 3 years of her life, she only gets an average of 2 sweets, one pototo crisp and maybe a few sticks of chocolate sticks a year. Ice cream is only max. 3 spoons in her 2nd year and processed food like sausages, french fries and ham are absolutely no-no to me.
I have people questioning my reasons for controlling her intake of these food. I told them it's not healthy and doesn't contribute to Tara's growth, so why would I want to feed stuff with nothing but tons of colouring, salt and sugar? I told them when she grows up, she will get her hands on these on her own so I just want to keep the first few years of her life healthy. Instead of all these junk, I gave her healthier versions of biscuits and fruits whenever she felt peckish.

I won't say Tara won't ask for these junk completely. But she knows that she can't take a lot of those so she's contented whenever I gave her only one or two pieces to nibble on. Sometimes she can even tell me she don't want these junk cos it's not healthy. And I'm glad that I don't have to handle her demands for junk food when we go out.

Okay, I'm a junkie too and I do love junk food. So it's very contradicting for me to be such a control freak over Tara. But if I can keep her first few years healthy, why not? I know the day I give her pocket money, is the day the world of junk food will open up to her. But since now I can still control what she eat, I will of course do so. And it's true that these junk food are nothing but health hazards, so why would I want to feed them to my precious baby?

What irked me most is the constant debates that I have to go through whenever topic on this comes up. I don't know why I have to justify and defend my actions time and time again. I don't understand why it seems like a must that kids take such stuff. I don't even know why people tell me it's a kid's privilege. I think they didn't read the nutrition table on the side of the package, neither did they know about the studies done on the effect of children taking junk food.

And one important fact that these people do not notice is, it's MY kid they are talking about. So it's MY decisions on what she puts in her mouth for now.

I asked a colleague last night why I should give Tara junk food. She told me it will make her happy. I guess she said that because she has never seen Tara enjoying her bowl of fresh fruits. She don't look unhappy to me. And she finishes her bowl of fruits with relish. A healthy bowl of fruits as compared to a lollipop. You tell me. Which is better?

Okay, before anyone thinks that my kid hasn't tasted any of those junk before. She has okay? She knows the taste of the Calbee Barbecue Potato Chips, the Cornetto ice-cream cones and whatoever that other parents are feeding their children. But there's still a limit to everything and I will never overload her with these unhealthy stuff. I will still choose a plate of spaghetti to a hamburger, a piece of butter cookie over a pototo chip or a glass of freshly squeezed fruit juice over a can of coke. To me, there's a healthier choice to every food and for the best interest of my baby, I will still make the better choice. Unless circumstances arises okay?

I will try my best not to give my two cents worth when someone else feed their own kid junk, so please, stop telling me why I should give mine junk.

Unless someone can tell me the healthy benefits of these junk food, then I might change my mind. So, the next time, before you offer any chocolate sticks or sweets to my kid, please consider the feelings of a well-meaning parent (me lar!) okay? And try not to fault me for keeping my kid healthy.

Whoa, been meaning to blog on this topic for ages! Glad it's out of my system now.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Our car rides convo


When Bob travels, the task of sending Tara to day care will be mine. There are days when we will have really interesting conversation in the car, and it never fails to surprise me the things that is going inside the little kid's head. I wonder who has been telling my little girl all the sad but sometimes true facts about life.


Who will take care of me?

Had this conversation with the little one this morning, when I was sending her to day care:

Tara: Mummy, 以后我老了,谁照顾我?

Mummy: 那要看你以后有没有结婚了。 如果你结婚了,就会有孩子。你老了,孩子长大了,就会照顾你了。不过如果你没有孩子,就只好努力做工赚钱,老了就有钱养自己了。

Tara: 我的 piggy bank 很多钱。不过我的孩子会拿掉我的钱。我就没钱了。

Mummy (surprised at her statement): 为什么你会这么说呢?

We didn't finish this conversation, the little girl just trailed her thoughts and babbled about something else.

I want to get married

My brother got married in November. He's the last one in our family to get hitched, so naturally, we were all excited about it and were always talking about his wedding. So one day, just a week before my brother's big day, Tara said this to me:

Tara (in her whiny voice) : Mummy, 我要结婚。

I can't believed she said that, so I ask her again what was it she said.

Tara: 我要结婚。

I didn't expect that she will say this, so naturally, I wasn't prepared to give her a proper explanation.

Mummy: 结婚是大人的事, 跟你这个小孩子有什么关系?

Tara: 我没有结过婚。我要结婚。

Mummy: 好阿。等你长大了,有一个你喜欢的男孩子,你就可以结婚了。

At this point, I started to laugh, because I really didn't expect to have this conversation with a soon to be 4 year old.

Tara: 谁?我可以找谁?

Mummy: 我不知道谁阿。等你长大了,自然会找到一个你喜欢的男孩子了。

Tara: 那我找 gor gor.

Mummy: 哪一个 gor gor.

Tara: 我找 Junxi gor gor.

Mummy (!!): 不可以啦。他是你的表哥 (my sis' son)。不可以跟他结婚的,好不好。

Tara (repeating the same qtn): 我可以找谁?

Mummy (amused): 等你长大了,自然会有一个了,好吗?不过一定要是一个对你很好的男孩子,好吗?

Tara sat back, folded her arms and pout. And I"m so glad the conversation is over.