Tara's Little Adventure

Last night, we were lounging around the hall at Bob's aunt's place after dinner. Tara was sitting in front of the TV and rummaging through my bag, which she usually does when she's bored. I was reading my book and not paying much attention to her, but I know she was taking out the notes and coins in my wallet.

I heard Bob asking Tara where she wanted to go, and I saw Tara trying to wear her sandals, while clutching $2.10 in her small hand. Bob asked her again, where she wanted to go, and Tara said "钱! 买!". I told Bob maybe we shouldn't ask her and should follow her instead, to see what she's up to. So I thought I'd follow her, since I've got nothing much to do.

She put on her sandals, opened the door and walked to the lift. I followed behind her, never asking her where she was heading nor did I held her hand. I just went along with her.

She went in the lift and pressed level 1. When the door opened, she walked to the carpark. I thought she wanted to go to the minimart straight ahead but she made an abrupt turn and walked towards the wet market. She walked up the flight of stairs leading to the wet market, with my assistance of course. And when she reached the wet market, I told her all the stalls are closed and I thought she better not climbed another flight of stairs up the hawker centre on level 2. She didn't, and turned back towards the flight of stairs where we came from. She stopped right in front of the stairs and turned back and check on the stalls again, to make sure they are really closed.

Once she was sure the stalls are closed, she walked straight ahead to another flight of stairs, all the while holding the $2.10 in her hand, and with me following behind her. It was so surreal, I thought I was in some kind of TV show, looking at other kid instead of Tara. She was really sure of where she's going, just that she couldn't find her way, I guess.

She descended the stairs. I was smiling already, cos I know where she's heading. The minimart. Just that instead of walking straight from the carpark, she made a big round. I thought if she wanted to buy Yakult, I would give it to her, even though it's against my rule of no sweet stuff after 8pm. I thought the effort she went through deserves a reward.

And I guessed it, she walked straight to the minimart, but stood in front of the shelves of tidbits instead. She picked up a packet of Chetzels, put it down and picked up Super Rings instead, walked to the counter, and put Super Rings on the table and paid with the $2 (she dropped the 10 cents along the way). The auntie was pretty amused and was smiling away when she gave Tara her change. Tara pointed to the packet and indicated she wanted a plastic bag. After all her effort, it breaks my heart but I had to tell her she cannot eat the Super Rings, but I told her she will get a packet of biscuits instead. And the little girl actually took the Super Rings and put back onto the shelves. I told her she already paid for it so we have to take it, just that I will be the one eating instead of her.

We went home and she was happily telling Bob again "买! 钱!". I guess she wanted to tell Bob she went to buy something using money.

It was so funny. I have to blog about it. I must also scrap on it. Tara has understood the concept of money, and buying something with money.

I don't think I will find it funny if 10 years down the road, if she does the same thing; taking money from my wallet without my permission and going to buy tidbits which I don't allow her to consume.

But at only 2 years old, it's so darn cute, I hope I will never forget this little adventure of hers.

Christmas Tree is Up!

I love Christmas!!

I guess I really need to attend a "How to decor your Christmas Tree?" course. My Christmas tree is so ugly. Very messy too. And I'm using the decorations from 2 Christmas-es ago.

I'm going to get new decor and a new tree next year. And if there's really a course to learn how to decor a Christmas tree, I'm going to sign up too.

Yikes!

Tara's 2nd Birthday Bash!

A small one actually. We decided to throw a small birthday party for Tara cos we felt little kids deserve to have their birthdays celebrated. But this year, we only invited family. No friends at all. Not even relatives. Not counting Bob's ones cos he has only a few close knitted relatives in Singapore, and they are considered family to him.

Actually, I don't really have any mood to make the preparations as Mum was admitted to hospital just days before. The day I ordered Tara's cake, it was in between trips from work to hospital. Bob told me not to go ahead with the party cos he knows I was feeling really down. But I thought all the more I should go ahead, to liven things up. And there, I proceeded to order a 1.5kg "Empress Dowager" flavoured one from The Patissier. It cost quite a bomb. But I told Gene it's to make up for the ugly cake I bought for Tara on her first birthday.

Food for the party consisted of just fried noodles, red eggs and make-it-yourself popiah. Mum was supposed to cook more dishes but she couldn't. Initially I thought the food were too simple for a party, even for a small one. I was wrong. The make-it-yourself popiah is actually a good way to get guests involved in making their own food! It's quite fun actually.

Mum told me Tara needs to wear new clothes on her birthday for symbolic reasons. But I was shuttling between work and hospital everyday, and simply have no time to do anything else, less to say shop for clothes. So on the day itself, I pulled out an Osh'Kosh jumpers my BIL bought for her almost a year ago. And there, new clothes. Not even washed! Very new!



The cake! I thought Tara will like the cute little animals sitting on the lawn in front of the cute house. Boy am I right! She was really excited to see the cake, and I can see she loved it a lot. Well, the $$ I spent is worth it after all.

Noticed the "Tara is 2". The scrapping mummy ensure that her scrap projects goes every where, even on top of the cake. It's for a reason though. There's actually a piece of white chocolate that says the same words but the chocolate fell flat during the trip back from the bakery, and the words were smeared. You can see the smearing on the left side of the candle. And because of the smearing, it becomes "Tara is 0". Not only that, the house was so heavy and it keeled over. I removed the plastic pipe that is not doing a good supporting job and just pressed the whole house into the cake. There. Done.

As for the wordings, it took me 20 mins and a whole lot of effort to make so you must see the zoom in picture of it. Hehe.



And the birthday girl. She struck this pose when I said I'm going snap a pic of her. She's a girlish girl after all!



The make-it-yourself popiah. Forgive the bad lighting



Tara eating her cake.



I'm glad Tara enjoyed herself. She loved the cake too. Even her armpit loved it. Since that part of her t-shirt got smeared by the greenish cream. I would guess so.

Little Golfer

Just before we leave for KL. A little video clip for you peeps to watch.

Updates!

Thanks to all you kind souls out there for leaving me a message and sending me sms-es the past weeks, perking up my otherwise gloomy mood. It has been a roller coaster ride these few weeks for me and my family. From Tara's little accident to Mum's stroke. It definitely brought me and my family closer and that's a good thing. Mum's incident also made me realised that I should not take anything or anyone for granted.

Okay, updates on the both of them. Tara first.

Kids do have an amazing healing ability. Now the scar on her head is not even that obvious, unless you take a closer look. And till this day, she still remembers that she hurt her head and has never fails to remind every single one of us everyday. She will point to her scar and said "头", at least 10 times a day.

Okay, recent picture of the little girl.



As for my Mum, she's recovering really well too. Less than 2 weeks ago, she was fully confined to bed and and require full assistance on her basic needs. Now, she can walk, feed and also attend to her toilet needs by herself, though she require some assistance in moving around as she's still feeling mild giddiness.

Mum can be discharged from NUH but has to stay in a rehab hospital for 1 - 2 weeks or until she's fully recovered and able to function as before. We can see that she doesn't want to go but she understands that it's the best for her. The medical social worker said she will be able to recover faster as compared to recovering at home and shuttling to and fro the hospital for physiotherapy.

Dad called me early this afernoon, and said that Mum had a wonderful appetite today. She wolfed down a packet of chee cheong fun my Dad bought this morning. Before that, a few mouthfuls of food and she would feel nauseous, so today's a big improvement. I can hear the happiness in my Dad's voice. He's been so worried about my Mum the past week.

So everything's almost back on track. I'm glad.

Bob is in KL for business till Thursday but has extended his stay till Sunday so that Tara and I can join him for a short stay there. I've booked air tickets for this Friday. Now the only problem I have is, how to handle the little active kiddo all by myself, during the flight. Just to keep her seated during take-off is a major challenge. And it's a mere 45mins flight.

Anyone has portable DVD player to borrow? At least I can try playing her favourite Hi-5 VCDs and hope for the best that she can behave. I'm also thinking of bring onboard, lots of food and drinks and maybe colour pencils, crayons and paper for her to doodle. Hope I can survive the flight.

Pray pray.

4D

Tara: 7766.. 7766

Mummy: 哇！ 你在报号码啊？

Tara: 7766..

Mummy: 要不要买？

Tara: 要!

And there... More money wasted on 4D.

Now it's my Mum

2 weeks after Tara's little accident, I'm back at NUH A&E again. This time, it's my Mum.

It happened on Saturday midnight. Dad told me he heard noise coming out from the hall and went out to see my Mum leaning on the sofa and complaining of giddiness. She told my Dad she was feeling really terrible and wanted him to call the doctor. Dad thought it was better to send for the ambulance.

It's one of those rare occasions that Bob and I both off our handphones and my Dad, Sis and Bro could not reach us. Both of us were also too tired and was sound asleep, thus didn't hear our house phone ring. It's only when my BIL came pounding on our door before we realised something had happened Mum. Initially we didn't dare to open the door cos we thought it's some hooligan out there. Even after we knew that it's my BIL, we also dare not open the door. It's a scenario that was never expected as we never thought will happen and so didn't know how to react. My BIL was literally pounding the door (my door bell spoilt), shaking the gate and even threw objects at our kitchen window and that was scary, especially if it happens in the middle of the night!

BIL sent me to the hospital while Bob stayed home to look after the soundly asleep Tara. I realised I was trembling all over even though I wasn't cold. In my heart, I was praying really hard that nothing serious will happen to my mum. I reached the hospital at 2.30am to see my Dad standing at the entrance of the A&E and smiling at me. He told me it's nothing serious and said my Sis shouldn't have called me. He said Mum was semi-conscious and was able to talk to him throughout.

My Dad and I waited at the A&E till 7am before we managed to see our Mum. Nobody spoke to us and we were only told to follow my Mum to the ward. My Dad who was trying hard to act cool the whole night went all nervous and kept asking the nurses about my Mum's condition.

We weren't given any answers until about 8am, one really young lady doctor came to ask my Mum and us a series of questions. She told us they need to observe and check her throughly before they can tell us what happened.

To cut the long story short, my Mum had a stroke. A mild one. The doctor told my Mum this morning. The stroke is not enough to paralysed her but she wasn't able to open her eyes for long cos she will get really giddy. They did quite a lot of tests but can't seem to explain the cause of Mum's giddiness. This morning, she was sent to the Neurology ward where they keep her under close observations. From the time she was warded till now, she was lying on the bed throughout. It was such a heart wrenching sight. My Mum is a very active person and she can't even sit still for long (unless playing mahjong), lest to say confined to the bed completely.

Any chance I have, I will rush to the hospital to see her. I just went during my lunch time. Before I left, one of my Mum's close friend was singing to her and it was the first time in these 2 days that I saw her smile. It almost brought tears to my eyes.

I know that all humans will get old and fall sick but I refused to think that when it comes to my own parents. To me, they are always young, strong and very healthy. And nothing will happen to them. What happened to my Mum jolted me to reality, that she and my Dad will leave us one day.

Now I just pray and hope that nothing serious will happen to my Mum. This Sat, we are celebrating Tara's 2nd birthday and I really hope by then, she will be discharged from the hospital and will be able to attend Tara's little birthday party. I wish that it will also be a celebration for Mum's recovery.

Tara's hurt

Just one day after I updated her 23 months picture on the blog.

She hit her head on our bed frame on Tuesday 4am in the morning. I didn't know it was so serious and I was even rubbing her forehead cos it was so dark and I couldn't see. Until Bob asked me how serious it was, I on the lights and got the shock of my life. Blood on her face, her pyjamas and my hands. I freaked out!

When Bob wiped the blood away, I told him the wound definitely need stitches cos it's slightly gaping. We rushed her to NUH A&E.

Tara only cried a little when she hit her head and during the trip from home to hospital, she kept pointing to her head and said "头", telling us that she hit her head.

I'm glad I chose to go to NUH cos there's actually a children's A&E there and the waiting time was really short. Bob dropped us at the entrance and a male nurse came forward to attend to us, and cute Tara pointed to her head again and said "头" again. The serious looking nurse break into a smile.

The doctor attending to Tara told us the wound definitely need stitches and explained that we have 2 choices to make, either they drug her with Ketamine and stitch her at the A&E or we can admit her into the hospital and a plastic surgeon will put her on general anaethetic and stitch her up. I asked her is the plastic surgeon going to do a better stitch job? The doctor said it's the same, just that the drug they use will be different. Being put on GA meant that they have more time to carefully stitch up the wound as Ketamine will only "stoned" her for an hour or so.

We chose to let the A&E doctor to stitch her up since it's quite a small wound. But because silly me gave her water to drink on our way there, we had to wait 4 hours before they can inject the drug as they are worried Tara will puke during the op and choke herself. So the doctor covered the wound with a gauze, told us to go home for a short rest. The nurse reminded us not to give her anything. At that time, I was worried cos the little one will ask for milk anytime and I'm worried she would kick up a fuss. So when we reached home, we immediately put her to bed. Fortunately, Tara was really tired and fell asleep very soon.

At about 8am, we got ready to go back to the hospital. Tara was just like her usual active, bubbly self and walked around the room, "surveying" the place. She even willingly let the nurses carried her. Bob and one of the nurse held her while the other nurse injected her with Ketamine. I stood beside, helpless and worried while the little one bawled away. The nurse told me to hold her while the drug took effect. I looked into her eyes, talked to her and even sang a song to her until we saw that she was a little stoned. The drug actually doesn't knock her out, only meant to make her oblivious to the surroundings, so her eyes was opened throughout. What hurts me most was seeing my little one going high on drugs. Her eyes were big and wide, but there's no life in them. I laid her on the bed and left the room.

While waiting outside, silly Bob said something that immediately brought tears to my eyes. He said we should have another child just in case something happen to Tara. What does he meant by just in case. Even if I do have another child, it's not going to replace the one I've lost. But he's always blunt with his words and I know he don't meant to hurt me. But at that point of time, being so worried and sad, the words just pierced me in my heart.

After a while, the nurse told me to go in and the doctor showed me the stitched before he covered her up. I thought it's a really nice job. Cos the stitches were hidden so it's just a clean slit instead of those "centipede" stitches. We went out again.

And after they bandanged her up, the nurse told me to go into the room, sit beside the little one so that when she "wakes" up, I can hold her. But when I went into the room, the little girl was already holding the bed rail struggling to get up. It was such a cute but sad sight. I held her and sang all her favourite songs to her. She was still in a drugged stage but she could even do the actions to the songs.

She kept calling for PaPa so I brought her out of the room. The nurse said once she can walk and sit by herself and drink some water without vomitting, we can bring her home. Tara fell asleep and the nurse said we had to wake her up every 15mins and not let her sleep too long.

After 15mins, we couldn't wake her up at all and I panicked. We tried so many ways, Bob pinched her nose, I gently pat her cheek, I even played her favourite ringtone but she didn't stir. The nurse told me it's okay and the doctor will look at her later. She told us to bring her out for a walk. Outside the A&E, Bob and I tried to wake her again. But she didn't moved a bit. It was until Bob played her favourite song that she suddenly opened her eyes and struggled to sat up. Imagine how relieved we are!

We gave her water to drink and tried to get her to walk. It took a mere 15mins and our little girl was back to her own self again. Active and naughty.

Less than 2 hours after the stitching up, little Tara was already wreaking havoc. While having our brunch at the hospital's canteen, the little one was messing with the food on the table, dipping her butter and kaya toast bread into our duck rice soup etc. I really don't know if I should be happy or frustrated at her!

Now, I just hope that the scar will not be so visible, cos she's a girl after all and it won't look pretty.

Okay, pictures:


I took this while waiting for her turn at the A&E. Yah, the blogging mummy never fails to bring a camera around. A very small wound, only about 2cm.


After the op, at the canteen. She was already back to her usual active self. Eating her toasted bread. She called this bandage her "hat".


Taken just yesterday morning, wound is healing well and noticed the thread at the end of the scar? I cringed when I first saw the thread, cos it's just sticking out of her skin like that.

Tara was really great. She didn't tried pulling her bandange or her gauze during the days when she had them. Usually, she can't even stand having a little clip on her hair, less to say the big bandage.

I'm going to get a good cream to lessen the scar marks once the wound healed. I just hope the scar won't be very visible in future.

Tara at 23 months

For those who missed seeing the little girl's pictures.

She will be 2 years old next month. Getting naughtier and definitely more and more unreasonable. But I still love her to bits. What to do? She's my daughter..

And I know I haven't been posting about her updates for a few months now. Not that I didn't want to, or that I'm worried about people saying that I'm making comparisons. It's just that I simply can't find the time to blog nowadays.

Like for now, I can only spare about 30 mins to surf the net. Cos I'm gonna get ready to go out with Bob and Tara.

And on that making comparisons thingy that is making quite a few blogging mummies stop posting updates of their child's milestone, I have to say that I won't stop doing that. It's my own blog, I can post anything I want. If there's someone who wants to make comparison, please go ahead. It's none of my business and it's not going to affect me or the way I teach my little one. If I'm gonna care about these people, then I won't be having an online presence at all.

Photographer in the Making?

Nowadays it's so difficult to take a picture of Tara. Whenever I whipped out the camera, she would grabbed it from me and start shooting anything and everything the lens was pointed at. I need to teach her a few times before she finally learnt that she had to depress the button a little bit longer in order to capture a shot.

All the while, she had been shooting blur photos of the floor, the wall, the trees and half the time, her little finger was blocking the lens. I didn't really like her playing with the camera as I'm worried that she might spoil it one day. But sometimes, when I need something to occupy her, the only thing I have in my bag is the camera so I guess I don't have much of a choice.

Slowly, she started shooting interesting stuff, in a clearer image and she managed to keep it in frame.

She took this picture of her little feet while Daddy and I were watching TV and totally unaware of what she was doing. Before this picture, she was just shooting blur images, of the floor especially, so this photo really surprised me.

Last night, she was fooling around with the camera again. I made a funny face and told her to take a picture of me. She raised the camera, pointed the lens directly in my direction and press the shutter button. Amazed, I looked at her "masterpiece" and saw that my face right in the centre of the frame, and it's so clear even my zits are so visible! (that's why I'm not going to upload it) I thought it's just coincidence and I got her to shoot at more objects. She tried the TV and the fan but her finger was blocking half the image, even though I can see that the object was right in frame. But those that she took of her Daddy, was very clear and right in frame too. From head to feet, no cropped areas!

I'm contemplating of getting a cheaper digital camera for her to play with. If she's really interested with taking photos. I'm going to get her to start shooting objects around the house, and maybe the scenery. And with all the photos, I'm going to make a scrap page.

中秋节快乐!!

Enjoy your lantern and mooncake festival today!

Quite a few things happened the past week. Bob and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary on Wednesday. We dressed up Tara for our dinner at a fine dining Italian restaurant. Just before stepping into the restaurant, Tara coughed and puked all over her pretty dress and shoes. In the end, she had her dinner in sandals and t-shirt. Glad I had extras in the car. I got a nice pink watch from Bob, he paid for the dinner. And what I bought for him, nothing. *silly grin*

And we found a childcare centre for Tara! It's the most perfect place for us, and for her of course. The environment is very spacious, very conducive for learning, the teachers are so nice and patient, and Tara love the place! I just need to get her toilet-trained before I can confirm a place for her.

Next week, my big guy will be flying off for a week again. So it's Tara and me alone next week. But this time, I know I can take care of my little girl, all by myself.

Hectic week ahead of me. Birthday party, wedding dinner. Need a shopping trip badly. Hope I have more time to scrap. Lots of projects on hand.

I'll be bringing Tara to my parent's place tonight. She will be carrying the traditional-candle-type lantern. No cartoons, no light bulbs, no batteries, no music. Just a nice paper lantern to celebrate her 2nd lantern festival.

Eat more mooncakes, you all!

Moisturiser

About 2 weeks ago, I realised the skin on my legs was very dry. It's pretty bad cos my skin was cracked and there's little red bumps on it. And worse of all, it itched like hell.

I guess it might have been the continuous nights of sleeping in air-con room and not making an effort of putting on moisturiser, and thus the dry skin. Or maybe the moisturiser I was using just wasn't moisturising enough.

I remembered I have a trial size moisturiser that's suppose to be quite good cos I've used this same brand before. I was so glad when I found it deep down in my drawer. From then, I started applying it every day and night religiously.

However, after 5 days, I realised my skin condition didn't improve at all, in fact, it got worse. The cracks on my skin was red and swollen. Imagine red, swelling cracks running across my legs. It was hideous!

I thought maybe the moisturiser I'm using is for a different skin type or the trial bottle might have expired, since I don't remember when I bought it, so, I took out the bottle and looked at the label closely.

It says in bold.

"Leave-On Hair Moisturiser".

Breakfast with Tara

For the past few days, I've been trying to wake up early so I can bring Tara for breakfast before going to work. The day before yesterday, I woke up early enough, but when it's time to leave the house, Tara refused to budge. She even said bye bye to me when I told her I'm going off without her. I spent quite a bit of time talking and cajoling her before she's finally willing to leave, and by that time, we were too late for even a quick drink. And yesterday, I couldn't wake up so there goes my plan.

This morning, however, I did managed to get up pretty early. 6.30am. And by the time we were ready to leave the house, it's only 7.35am. Time's a bit tight, but spending time with my little girl is more important than anything else.

We went to this coffeeshop just a short distance away. The soft boiled eggs are always perfect, the toast always nicely done and the drinks are always made the right way.
When we stepped in, all eyes turned our way cos it's an industrial area and having a toddler in tow is not common.

I gave Tara an egg and she was slowly scooping the egg into her mouth with the teaspoon until she saw me sipping it directly from the plate. She picked up her plate and follow suit. The cute part was, she was really careful and sipping really slowly until she finished the whole plate of egg. A group of men sitting beside us was pretty amused. Guess they have never seen a toddler eating eggs like this.

It's such a nice feeling to be able to enjoy breakfast before starting work for the day. And it's even better have Tara with me.

I won't say I hope to do this everyday, cos it's just not possible. Waking up at 6.30am every morning?

You kidding!!

Health Conscious Vainpot

Recently, I've been really conscious of my health and my skin. I've never really cared about eating healthy food or buying super good skincare products cos I've always been blessed with fairly good health and pretty good skin.

Until recently. I realised I've been getting lots of zits on my face and they never seem to go away. On top of that, I realised I got dragon's breath. Almost immediately after I brushed my teeth, the bad breath will be back. Even if I use a minty mouth wash, I will still have some unpleasant taste in my throat. And to top it off, I got a bloated tummy almost everyday.

Then I remember one TV commercial from some time ago. The product is for removing of toxin from the body. It promised to rid bad breath, zits and improve health overall. On the same night, I told Bob I must get the product. So off we went to Chinatown the next day. I couldn't find the product and instead, bought 2 boxes of tea that promised to remove toxins. The sales girl who recommended told me it's really good. Taking her words for it, I bought 2 boxes. Upon closer inspection, I realised the tea is for slimming! I don't want any slimming tea! So I went back to the shelves and asked about that particular product that I wanted, and was told that the product is no longer on retail and is selling as MLM instead.

So I though, since I've spent on the slimming tea, which also remove toxins, I might as well try it.

One week later, and after many trips to the toilet (to remove toxins), I can sense some improvements. No more bloated stomach and no more dragon's breath. I can't say much on the zits though. And just for your info, my weight remains the same.

On top of the tea, I spent quite a bit buying supplements. I've never been a pill popper and I don't really like the idea of consuming pills. But being lazy and impatient by nature, I decided that the fastest and most effective way is to get supplements. I bought enzymes for my bloated stomach and anti-oxidant pills for nice skin and overall health. They are so expensive! I'm only days into using the supplements so, no comments as yet. On top of these 2, I’m also using fish oil and calcium pills. Talk about kiasu.

And finally, my skin. Last Sunday, I was casually surfing the net and came across this. Something I definitely need. And within 30 mins of reading about the product, I dashed out of the house with Tara in tow, and went to Jurong Point to get it. Usually, I don't buy products at a whim. If it's some other bloggers recommending the product, I might be skeptical to try. It's either I trust this person, or I'm simply desperate.

Nonetheless, I bought it. And just 1 day of using it, I can feel the difference. Nope, I’m not exaggerating. My skin really does feel smoother and I can see slight improvements on my chin, where most of the whiteheads are. I will comment again in another 9 days, cos it promised visible results in 10 days.

And to top off the healthy beauty regime, I'm drinking 3 to 4 cups of green tea everyday. Green tea is said to be really good for almost everything.

If I'm as diligent in my slimming regime, I might already be buying clothes in size S!

Neglect Tara

I'm always telling people around me; if you can't handle the responsibility of caring for a kid, don't plan for one, or if you don't even want to spend time with your kid, don't bother having one either. I'm the one who spoke these words, yet I'm the one who's guilty of all the above.

After I quit from my last job, I have had the chance to take care for Tara full time for almost 3 weeks. Remember I complained about being too busy and not having enough time for myself? So when my PILs came by, I totally washed my hands off Tara. I didn't bring her down for her morning strolls, didn't cook her lunch for her, didn't shower her, didn't even prepare her milk for her. To put it plainly, I didn't spend any time with her at all. Instead, I hid myself in the room playing PS II, reading, sleeping. When Tara walked into the room looking for me, I told her to go out and look for her grandparents instead. I didn't bother to even talk much to her. At that time, I thought it's justifiable, since I've take care of her for so many days already, it's time for me to take a rest.

I started my new job after more than a week of "rest". And at night, when I reached home, I would be watching TV or doing my own stuff. I don't give Tara the kind attention I used to. When Tara tried to get my attention, she would get on my nerves instead, and I would tell her to go look for her grandparents. So for quite a while, I almost totally neglect her. And when I do give her my attention, it's usually negative. A spanking, a punishment or a scolding from me.

After a week, I realised Tara getting clingy to my MIL, which is not normal. And it finally hit upon me that I'm the cause of it. I'm the one who pushed her away. I got really upset when Tara cries for my MIL instead of me. She resisted and bawled when I tried carrying her from my MIL arms. She prefer my MIL to me.

But still, I didn't do anything about it. Selfishly, I only care for myself, and my precious little "me" time.

Last week, Bob told me he's going outstation yet again, my FIL will be going back home and my MIL will be going to Genting. So for one whole week, I had to take care of Tara alone. Myself. There's no one to "push" the little girl to when I reach home from work. I totally freaked out! I don't think I can handle Tara alone anymore. She's getting really pesky and very cranky, especially these 2 weeks (since I began neglecting her, I realised). I can't imagine the nights when no one is around and I have to face her tantrums myself.

I wasn't too happy. In fact, I was quite depressed.

The first night Tara and I were alone, it didn't went well. She got spanked, scolded and punished. But all these escalated her cries and tantrums instead. I don't know what to do, I got really upset and ignored her instead. I left her in the room, and went out to the hall, sat in the dark and tried hard to hold back my own tears. I don't know how to handle the situation. She came out after a while, stood beside me and bawled till she was so tired and laid her head on the sofa to sleep.

I hate myself for treating her badly.

So the next day, I went back to my usual methods of parenting. Lots of patience and no spanking.

I kept my mood calm and tried explaining rather than just snapped whenever she got unreasonable. It worked pretty well. I even brought her out for lunch and to the library and she behaved quite well too. I find myself enjoying the time I spent with her and my mood was really good for the whole day. She still have her tantrums at night but I managed to keep her under control and bed time was a breeze. I realised the reason for her bad behaviour might be caused by me, so I decided I should change my bad behaviour too.

It will be another 5 days before Bob comes back. But I'm sure I can handle Tara by myself now.

Now I just pray and hope that I don't slip into bouts of depression again.

So far so good

Ooh, pardon me on the lack of updates. My new job is keeping me busy! Not that I have to OT everyday. It's the working hours that's keeping me away from blogging. Unlike before, I can't go to work as and when I wish. I'm still getting used to my current normal working hours, that is, getting up at 7am in the morning and reaching home at 7pm in the evening.

I have to be in bed latest by 12am, or I'll be a zombie at work the next day. And not like before, I can step out of the office whenever I'm bored or sleepy. Neither can I go for a coffee or run errands at a whim. Now, I'm stuck to my office chair 80% of the time. Very soon, I will have an even bulging tummy for sitting too much.

Everyday when I reach home from work, I prefer to sit and chill in front of the TV, spend some time with Tara, talk to Bob and I'll be getting ready for bed. I'm falling into a mundane routine. But I'm happy so far. Happy that I'm back in a working environment and happy that my work responsibilities are getting more.

The first day of work was really boring though. As usual, newcomers have to sit through 8 hours reading various materials. And I'm not spared from it. What made it worse was, Tara didn't sleep well the night before and I wasn't able to get my much needed rest. I sat through my afternoon briefing session bleary-eyed, dazed and I even dozed off a bit. That was bad for a new staff on her first day. Lucky no one noticed, or so I think.

I'm still getting familiar with the work around here and I hope to get the hang of it very, very soon. It sucks to be so blur about everything. I never liked the first week of a new job but I'm sure time will fly.

It always does.

Everyone I knew commented on my new working hours. How am I going to get used to them and said that I will soon turn up work late. I asked a few of my friends when do they think I will start going to office late and they said one month, almost in unison! Hey! What a morale boost that is! It's my 7th day at work today and I'm proud to say I've never been late till now.

In fact, I'm in early everyday!

I'm gonna prove everyone wrong, that I can be as punctual as I want to be.

We'll see.

Steve Irwin passed away..

I never like this guy. I thought he's too animated and I always changed channels whenever he was on.

But I'm still shocked to hear his passing. Apparently, although he had dealt with crocs, snakes and other dangerous reptiles and animals, he fell victim to a sting ray. A sting ray put a hole in his heart with it's poinsonous barb when he got too close.

I was in the train this morning and the guy standing in front of my seat was reading a copy of Today. I was stunned when I saw his picture and the headlines. My eyes were glued to the story and suddenly the guy flipped his papers, and I realised how stupid I must have looked when I'm holding my own paperback but reading other people's papers.

Poor Steve Irwin.

New Banner is up!!

Clean, no fuss.

My current favourite colours all up.

Did the doodle brackets myself and I love it! Downloaded Rhonna Farrer's free pea kit and used her infamous swirls for the background.

Very happy.

I'm an adventurer

Stumbled upon this test on Audz blog. Most of her results came out true for her, so I thought I'll try and see how accurate this can be. Only need to answer 2 questions and there, my results below:

the Adventurer
Thanks for taking the test !

you chose AX - your Enneagram type is SEVEN.

"I am happy and open to new things"
Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me companionship, affection, and freedom. Oh yeah.. true
• Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter. Very true. If you were talking to me and I wasn't paying attention, you should change your topic.
• Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories. Grand visions?? Do I have any visions in the first place? My stories, yeah, lots of stories to tell.
• Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am. Yep, correct.
• Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people. I think so..
• Don't tell me what to do. The irony is, I'm always telling people what to do!

What I Like About Being a Seven

• being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down Yep!
• being spontaneous and free-spirited So yep!
• being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun. Outspoken? Meaning not giving other people chance to talk? YEP!
• being generous and trying to make the world a better place Generous? Hmmz... And I only try to make MY world a better place.
• having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures Not so yep
• having such varied interests and abilities It's so varied, I can't pin point any of my interestes and abilities. So do I have them?
  

What's Hard About Being a Seven

• not having enough time to do all the things I want Very, very yep!!
• not completing things I start Right on yep!
• not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career WAH!! So so accurate YEP YEP!
• having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies YEP! YEP! YEP!
• feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship that was before I'm married to Bob. Now I can't be happier!

Sevens as Children

• Often are action oriented and adventuresome Hmmz..
• drum up excitement Double hmmz..
• prefer being with other children to being alone Oh, I'm no loner. But usually I'm still alone, cos other children hates me!
• finesse their way around adults Ooh, I gotta ask the then-adults.
• dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up Yeah, yep yep! I couldn't wait to grow up, so I can go anywhere I wish.
  

Sevens as Parents

• are often enthusiastic and generous Okay, quite..
• want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life Yep! I don't want my kid to be too sheltered.
• may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive It's unfortunately true. Poor Tara.

Try yours here!

A job!

Ooh, it's really a happy news for me. I found a job! I got a job!!

Oh.. that makes me a really bad mother yeah? I rather work than take care of my kid. Not that I don't like taking care of Tara, I just feel that being able to have a job and earning my own penny gives me a better balance.

Whenever I'm outside, shopping or stolling around with Tara, and I saw those working people, I'm so envious. And I so wana get a job. And there, I found one!

I will start work next Monday. Actually I told them I can start this Friday, since it's the 1st day of the month. Yeah I know, just work for one day and then rest for Sat and Sun and go to work next Monday again. It doesn't matter to me, I'm so looking forward to going to work so starting this Friday or next Monday does not matter to me.

This job is totally different from my last one. I've got no sales target to meet and I don't need to travel all over Singapore. Yeap, it's a deskbound job. I don't earn like I used to but then again, I don't need to pay for a car so, yeah, it's about there. I'm happy.

But I guess there's things I need to get used to, all over again. The new colleagues, the new work place, the new job scope. I need to get some casual work wear too. I saw my new colleagues wearing what I usually wear on a Saturday and I haven't got much casual wear. I'm used to wearing a bit more office-like cos of the clients I have to meet everyday. Then again, I still feel it's better to dress up nicely when going to work so I'm gonna get smart casuals, to fit in the crowd, and not overly casual, i.e. wearing slippers to work.

Okay, I will get used to it. And these few days, I hope to spend more time with Tara. She's still my No. 1. My evenings after work and weekends will still be hers. But I'm happier this way.

Some of my friends told me I'm crazy, and I don't know how to enjoy life. Hmmz, I don't think being at home everyday with a toddler is considered a life to me.

Then again, different strokes for different folks.

On the Creative Side

The projects I've done these 2 months.

These are done at the crop session held at one of the TSL's members abode. I haven't got any idea what to scrap at that time, so these 2 were unplanned ones and I don't really like them.





And the next one was done at a midnight crop held at Made with Love in Plaza Singapura. I like this one better. And it's a very meaningful one cos there's a bit of Tara's hair which I kept in a keepsake holder.





I also managed to do a door hanger for Tara.



And the following 2 layouts are for the SDU class I attended last Thursday. I managed to complete the layouts on yet another overnight crop which I had with my Sis last Friday. Finally did a layout for Bob! And I love it! Just when I thought it's so difficult to scrap for a big guy and the 7 gypsies papers changed it all. The "Lifetime Promise" layout was done on very beautiful Laura Ashley Wedding Collection papers. I'm gonna get more Laura Ashley papers! Heard they are not going to produce anymore so it's gonna be so precious!





And remember sometime back, I offered to sell my excess lunch boxes and to alter it at an additional cost of $2? This is one of them. Morraine emailed me and actually reserved both lunch boxes. I really took my own sweet time to do. Sorry Morraine! The other lunch box will also be ready soon. By this week, I hope. Let me know if you can meet me up next week to collect them! I did something special for Morraine. I did a "First" lunchbox for her girl, Ashley. There's 12 cards in the lunch box, already half completed, she will just need to put in photos and write some journaling and it's done!! Hope you like it ah Morr..





And this one, a mini lunchbox I did to hold my tools supplies for the SDU classes. I'm suddenly crazy over pink and brown, and the combination of them both. Simply love it!



More projects and layouts coming up!

Goodies from Norway & Amsterdam

The goodies Bob brought back! Imagine this guy even stuffed 2 big packets of smoked salmon in his luggage! He's nuts!

For Tara, he bought a pair of Timberland shoes from Amsterdam, and that cost 80 bucks in Singapore dollars. I thought spending almost $50 for a pair of First Clarks is crazy enough. He also bought a first Hard Rock t-shirt, a set of top and pants, and a pink t-shirt. Which Mummy has one too.

And silly Bob bought all the t-shirts for me in S/M size, even though I've told him countless times I'm an L size for ladies wear (oops, now everyone knows my size!). He said he looked at the L sizes and thought they look big. Yeah, he still think his wife is nice and slim. And that cute pink t-shirt which Tara has one, I guess we will never have a chance to wear them together unless I can slim down before Tara grows out of hers. Or unless I stumped Tara's growth. Only the white Hard Rock tee is in the correct size. Silly Bob.

Bob has a habit, wherever he travels, he makes it a point to visit the local Hard Rock store to get t-shirts and shooter glasses. He bought 3 tees for himself, 2 for me and 1 for Tara. We wanted to get the "First" tee for Tara in Singapore when we attended a birthday party there weeks ago, but Bob thought he'd rather spend the money for one that has "Amsterdam" written on it.

And he bought chocolates. Lots of chocolates. From both Norway and Amsterdam. I had a hard time chooosing what to keep and what to give away. Everyday, I will break a section of the chocolate to savour. I just ate one, gotta stop myself from pinching another piece. Yummy! Love chocolates.

Oh, and poor Bob was supposed to be back in Singapore on Saturday afternoon, but the flight was cancelled and he can only got on the next flight 12 hours later! I had to go to the airport at 3am in the morning with the still sleeping Tara in tow!

Really glad to have my big guy back. Missed him terribly. Oh, the goodies are a bonus, of course!

Phone and Broadband down

Haven't been able to surf the net cos my broadband is down. I kind of have a feeling it's connected to my phone line, because it's down for a few days too. I can live with no land line but I can't live with no internet connection!

So last night, I called up the SingTel people and this morning, they came down to check. Apparently, the cable down our block is damaged, thus affecting my phone line. The first tech guy told me it's the downstairs cable got problem and told me someone else will come fix it. And they had everything done before noon! Applaud their fast and efficient service. No regrets for dumping Starhub and going for SingNet.

Okay, lots of things to blog! Let me get the photos sorted out first. Lots of photos to post!

And Bob is finally back! So I'm a happy woman now, once I get a job, I'll be even happier!! I feel so lost without a job now. Guess I'm more inclined towards being a FTWM than a SAHM.

Emotions Update

Thanks all for the kind advises and consolation. Through here and through sms-es. Thank you all so much. I'm quite relieved to know that this might just be a passing phase for Tara. I will definitely need more patience in teaching her the good and bad, the right and wrong.

I'm feeling so much better now. Still a bit down but it's because Bob wasn't around. In the past, 6 or 7 days without Bob around wasn't that bad. Actually time flies then, maybe because I'm busy with work and back home, with Tara, time whizzed by. Now it's his 5th day overseas, I felt like he wasn't around for weeks!! Really miss having him around. Bob's always a good listener, no matter what nonsense I'm blabbering. He will listen. And I miss that.

As for Tara, she's certainly behaving really well these 2 days. Very sweet, very loving. Lots of kisses, lots of hugs from her these 2 days. Maybe she knows that Mummy isn't feeling good. But the poor girl fell ill. Early this evening, I felt her body was warmer than usual and her face was flushed. Took her temperature and she's running a fever. 37.7 degrees. Fed her fever medicine and brought her home. I think she's really unwell, she wasn't her usual bubbly self and instead of taking her shoes off, like she always does when we reach home, she stood beside the stool and laid her head there instead, and looking at me with bleary eyes.

She's sleeping now. Gotta feed her next dose of fever medication at 12am, 4 hours interval. Her fever went up to 38.2 degrees when I last checked. Poor baby.

Dejected

I'm still trying to get used to taking care of Tara full time. It's a totally different, absolutely overwhelming experience for me. I've had taken care of Tara full days before, but that was only for a day or at most, a couple of days. It's been more than a week now. And I can't say it's very enjoyable for me. But I have to admit that it can be rather fulfilling at times.

When I was still working, Tara's bad behaviour wasn't tolerated and she would either get a smack on her thigh or she would be punished by standing in a corner. But it wasn't that easy to do the same every single day. I realised she's displaying some bad habits, which unfortunately, are what we have been doing unknowingly all the time.

Nowadays, she will smack me back (and guess where she learnt that from!), whenever she's angry with me and she's getting better at it as the day goes. Recently, she realised that hitting me on my face and pulling my specs down at the same time is really fun, cos she can get Mummy's undivided attention, coupled with huge amounts of irritation and anger. I smacked her hard, real hard. And soon, I realised that inflicting pain is really a bad idea. And she's learnt the bad habit of hitting me too. In a way, I've indirectly taught her that hitting is okay, cos Mummy's doing it!

So, I decided to try another method. I used a totally calm and very uninterested (remember she's getting attention) tone and tell her not to hit Mummy and to say sorry. She used to come up to me, stroke me on my arm and hug me, that's her way of saying sorry. But now, she will hit me again and again and again. I would give her a warning and when she refused to heed, I made her stand in the corner. And for now, a warning will usually suffice. She will protest a little and stopped her bad behaviour.

I used to feel anger when she hit me. But now I feel dejected, sad and useless. I wonder why my baby will hit me, I'm suppose to be the person she loves most. It really breaks my heart when she does that. Sometimes I do wonder if she hates me. I wonder if I'm using the right method to discipline her. I even wonder if I'm the right person to take care of her? Or maybe, to console myself, she might be at the terrible two phase and thus, the bad tantrums and behaviour, and it's gonna go away soon. Or will it?

I have been having so many negative thoughts recently. Maybe staying home is a bad idea after all. Or maybe I still need time to get used to it?

MIL will be coming this Friday. Yeah, quite disappointed that I'm still wasn't able to take care of her fully by myself. I had thought that I can do that for a month before my PILs comes back again. I didn't expect, nor I really like the idea of her coming earlier than she used to. But then again, since she's here, I might as well take the opportunity to take a breather.

I plan to drop Tara off at 3rd aunt's place this Sunday, since MIL will be there till next Monday, and drive myself to Orchard road for some time alone. Shopping, coffee, reading or just walking along the road. Whatever. I'm going to do things by myself. Yeah, just me only. I hope I will feel better then.

Busier than before!

When I decided to stop working, I thought that I will have more time to do things that I really love but wasn't able to when I'm still working. I thought I have ample time to scrap, tidy and clean up the house, cook meals, buy groceries, surf internet, do the laundry, on top of taking care of Tara.

I was wrong! I actually found it even harder to do anything! The only time I can take a breather was when Tara takes her nap in the afternoon. And it's a miserable short 1 hour nap. There's only enough time for me to check a couple of mails, tie up loose ends on the sprees I've organized, read a few posts at TSL and the next moment, the little gal would be standing beside me, up from her nap and asking for my attention.

My waking hours are 95% hers. We will watch VCDs together, sing and dance together, read together, do colouring together, take a walk in the garden together. Only when she hit the pillows, then I get my 5%. I can't stay up as late as I used to, cos I have to be alert and wide awake for her the next day. She zaps up my energy so by the end of the day, I will be dead tired to do anything else anyway. I'm still thinking of activities that she can do alone. Activities that's safe for her, as well as for the house. She did colouring alone once, and the colour pencils were thrown on the ground within minutes and without leaving some marks on her high chair first.

And since I've stopped working, everyday is packed with activities. Birthday party, dinners, visiting etc, there isn't a day I can be home for the whole day.

I need time to scrap! Lots of things that I want to scrap.

Just me and Tara

Bob left for Norway yesterday night. And will only be back in 8 days. I thought I have gotten used to Bob's travelling but I was wrong. I felt totally alone today. And I'm wondering how am I going to survive till the next Sunday. Lonely. Low spirits.

I know I have Tara with me, but it's a different kind of companionship. The best part is, Bob had to go Vietnam once he's back from Norway.

It's cruel. He always has to travel when there's some major, if not, important change in my life, which is when I really need him to be around.

First was when I found out I was pregnant, he started travelling more frequent. Even when I'm less than 2 weeks from my expected due date, he had to fly to India to helped clinched a deal for his colleague. I had to stay over with my parents, cos they were worried I might popped anytime.

Then when I gave birth to Tara, he had to leave me alone at home with the confinement lady only 8 days after I've delivered. It was a major emotional time for me then. And his travelling wasn't any lesser.

And now I'm not working, and he won't be around for more than 2 weeks this month. There's no one to look forward to at the end of the day, no one to cook dinner for, no one to listen to my chit chatter, and no one to watch TV shows with, no one to laugh with me over Tara's silly antics.

I miss Bob badly.

Overnight Crop

Bob left for Norway this evening. So I invited my sis over my place for an overnight crop. The last overnight crop also at my place, my sis fell asleep with her daughter, and left me scrapping alone in the hall.

Hope both of us can keep awake long enough to finish those "back log" projects!

Eeewww!!

I just pulled out a poo from Tara's butt. It's stuck halfway so I thought I might as well pull it out for her.

It's gross enough. The best part is, the poo is attached to a long piece of veg from her National Day's dinner! Yikes! Super gross.

To have or not to have

Last night, Bob and I were discussing our plans.

To have or not to have. Baby number 2, that is.

There were a lot of factors to consider. Factors like, who's gonna take care of No.2? And Tara? My mum? She's not that willing to look after Tara sometimes, I feel. So who else? Send Tara to a full time child care and get Mum to look after No.2? Bob is only willing to send Tara to a really good one if that's the case and it's gonna set him back about $800 a month, I thought he's crazy. Besides, we need to pay Mum for looking after no.2 and a part time cleaning lady for the house chores too. And that's gonna be hefty!

I told him since he's so willing to fork out so much, we might as well spend $500 plus (besides the initial costs) to get a maid and another $300 plus to get Tara in a regular playgroup or something. But this is something I need to check. Now I don't even know how much it will cost to send Tara to such playgroup. Bob's very particular about the school so it might not be that affordable. As for the maid, I will have someone keeping the house in order every day. Why not right?

And I don't feel safe having a maid alone with 2 kids so I told Bob we might need to get my MIL to stay over permanently, something which I might not look forward to, but it's the most ideal solution. And I'm always not that keen having strangers in the house. So I really need some getting used to with the maid around.

And there comes another headache. How to allocate the rooms? Who's going to sleep where? Remember I have only 1 guest room available? And it's taken by my PILs? I told Bob we might have to let Tara continue sleeping with us till she's max 6 years old and till then, we can think of how to create a additional room. Cos now, it's not easy to have one. Lots of factors to consider too. We might have the maid sleeping in our current study. And where does the desktop and printers go? To our room I guess. How about my scrapping stuff? I don't know man!

And nope, if you are thinking of that. I don't intend to be a full time SAHM for now. I'm looking out for jobs already. Why? I still prefer to be financially independent. I need the money for my addiction!

And till all these are ironed out. I'm holding plans for no. 2.

Fireworks Festival!

We have the opportunity to watch fireworks at the "comfort of airconditioned office".

BIL's office is on the 2nd floor of One Fullerton. His company actually invited their clients to watch the fireworks in their office! How cool is that!

But it wasn't that cool when we reached. There were 800 other people there for the same purpose. We are suppose to watch in the executive's (aka boss) office. Tara and I were one of the first to trot into the office, after queuing outside with an equally impatient crowd. Women and kids are supposed to go in first but being Singaporeans, some men actually squeezed their way through too.

We managed to get the "first class seat" beside the full height window. I sat down on the ledge so that those behind can get a better view. The adults standing nearer to the windows should squat so that those behind them can get to see the display too. But nope, they didn't do that nor they were nice enough to let some of the kiddos get to the front. Bob told me some kids were stuck behind because of some inconsiderate adults hogging the best view. Even Bob at 1.75m, standing just a short distance away from us, can only see 60% of the view. I guess the only things those kids saw were butts and legs.

While waiting for the fireworks to start, a little girl on my left kept asking me when is the fireworks starting. I told her 5mins, and she repeated her question every 30 secs! So after replying the hundredth time, I told her I don't know and said she had to wait. The little boy on my right was so excited talking that his saliva kept splattering onto the side of my face and I'm sure my hair caught the most of it. Tara was a little cranky too. And she was about to throw her prissy fits when the fireworks finally started.

Oohs and aahs amongst the crowd. Tara was captivated by the beautiful display of the fireworks too. And for sometime, forgot that she was sleepy and hungry. I sat on the low ledge, with Tara on my lap and a little girl leaning on me, and her hair was tickling my face half the time. I felt my legs getting numb and I was about to give up and thinking of how to squeeze out of the crowd when the fireworks finally ended.

Bob told me if I still wana see another display, I can arranged with BIL for the Saturday's slot. I told him no way, man! The type of crowd puts me off.

Anyway, for those who weren't able to see the spectacular fireworks display. Here's a very short and shaky video I took. By the way, this is the Singapore's team display. I kind of hope to see the display by the teams of other countries.

Caught her!

A couple of months back, Gene found Talia sitting on the dining table, playing with
her flashcards.

A couple of days back, I found my little girl up on our dining table too. If you look closely at the mess, you can see something small that caught her attention. It's always the same things that she risks life and limb for. Think food. And nope, it's not the bread.


What's with kids and dining tables nowadays?

Class at the Scrapbook Design University (SDU)

I went for my first class this afternoon. It was so fun and very informative.

We were taught various other uses for paper punches, as well as how to coordinate colours better. During the class, we were given small projects to do. At the end of the class, the instructor, Sharon, sent us out to the shop to choose papers for our layouts for next week.

We were each given a bag and a binder file for the notes that will be distributed at every class.

I can't wait for the class next week. I'm beginning to get hooked on classes!! What I need now is more money. Hiak hiak hiak.

Happy National Day in Advance!

Just in case I don't get to log on tomorrow.

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY TO ALL!

We will be going to Party World with Tara in tow tonight. No plans for tomorrow yet. But I hope we can chill out at home all day. Thinking of making a pot of stew beef tomorrow. *Slurp* The thought of it makes me salivate. Bob's requesting for stew beef and butter rice since don't know when. Maybe I should grant his wish!

This Friday, we will be going to BIL's office to watch the fireworks. Yeah! Love fireworks.

You peeps out there enjoy your National Day! Proud to be a Singaporean. And remember to wear red.

A new word

This morning, Tara came up to me, gave me my hair clip and said very clearly "头发". I replied "Yes! It's for 头发" and she repeated the word again.

Wow, my baby has learnt so many chinese words from my FIL. Hmmz, I'm puzzled now, should I teach in Mandarin or English? It's going to be funny speaking dual language in one sentence right?

Ooo.. Nice!

Imagine after having 2 kids and still having a figure like that? Click here

I will die a happy woman....

My day today..

I brought Tara to Angela's place for a swim! It was great! Angela managed to coax Tara into the pool! She's no longer afraid of going into the water. But once in a while, she would still climb out of the pool. Nonetheless, it's a major milestone for her.

After the swim, we went to Angela's place to shower and change and headed to Jurong Point for lunch and grocery shopping. I think I'm getting too adventurous. I was carrying a huge and rather heavy bag, and bought a few bags of groceries. Had to take a cab home. The cabby had to helped me carry Tara over the pavement step. Just realised I got a small but angry looking blister on the area in between my pointy finger and my thumb.

Yeah, serve me right for thinking that I can carry so much things.

Ooh, back aching now...

Refuse to call Mummy

I wonder why, she can sweetly call Daddy and everybody else but when it comes to calling me, she will talk in gibberish. The other day, I told my Mum about it and she asked Tara to say Mummy and she said it nice and perfect. She made me feel like the boy that cry wolf.

To further convinced myself that she indeed refused to say Mummy, I deliberately said a whole list of names to call. And inserting "Mummy" randomly. She can call every single name except for Mummy. She can even pronounced the difficult ones like "奶奶", "舅舅", "姑姑". Even though 舅舅 sounds like "dou dou", at least she meant to say it proper. And how she call "Mummy"? Just gibberish.

I wonder why.

My days as a SAHM

I spent the first day clearing out my store. Bob and I went Ikea and bought $180 worth of new shelving for our store room. I spent almost 7 hours rearranging the store, fixing up the new shelving, and throwing away stuff we don't need. Bob came back for half an hour to help me fix the shelves cos I wasn't able to do it alone. Imagine holding to the stands and trying to balance the shelving? After 6 hours, I've got a well-organized store! Though it's not really neat and tidy, everything was arranged properly and within reach. Unlike before, we gotta dig real deep to get something. Satisfaction! Not without some "sacrifices though. I grazed the skin on my middle finger when I tried to fix the screws, dropped a folded chair on my right foot and got lots of body ache from the climbing and stuff. My inner thigh still aching now.

Because of the body ache, I wasn't able to accomplish much on my second day. Only managed to clear the dining table and tidy up the hall a little. I'm supposed to tidy up the study but it's just so difficult with my both legs aching. Left the house in the evening and had steamboat with the gals. We went to the Hainan charcoal steamboat at the 7th storey motel near Bugis. Had a wonderful time just yakking and munching away. Verdict on the food? Not much variety, a little ex, and taste okay.



Yesterday was the third day of staying at home but my first day of taking care of Tara full time. The first two days, my PILs had to bring Tara to Bob's 3rd aunt's place so that I can tidy up the house in peace. Yesterday monring, I woke up at 8 plus. Tara and I spent the morning eating breakfast, watching and singing and dancing to Hi-5 together. The little girl refused to take her nap and thus, deprived me of a much needed sleep, since I woke up so early. I tried putting her to bed 4 times, but none successful. I gave up, and went about sorting the package of scrapbook materials I got from the vpost delivery morning. While doing that, the little girl started to misbehave. I punished her, she cried and finally decided to take a nap. I didn't get to rest though, had to do some chores and by the time I'm ready to leave the house, she woke up. We went to the library and to Jurong Point for our meatball linguini lunch before we left for my parents' place. I decided to take the bus, since my parent's place is not accessible by train. When I reached the interchange, passengers were already boarding the bus. I had to close the pram and while I was doing that, Tara followed the queue boarding the bus. I frantically hollowed her to wait for me, while I fumbled with the pram. Three helpful passengers helped me to carry her onto the bus and I dashed in after her. Tara coolly walked to the back and tried to climb onto the seat. Two aunties helped me pull her up cos my hands are full with the bag and the pram. Wow, I'm really grateful for their help! I guess I shouldn't have brought the pram if I'm taking the bus, Tara refused to use the pram anyway.

And this morning, my second day of full time SAHM, I was woken up by Tara at 7.45am. YEAH, 7.45am!!?? I don't even wake up this early when I'm working. Bob was already getting ready for work so I might as well join him for breakfast. I stepped out of the house and saw my neighbour, Sie Sie, stepping out too. She looked at me and said, "Wow! So early? You are not even this early when you working!" Yeah, she's right. I'm so tired and bleary eyed. After breakfast, I decided to bring Tara to the garden for a walk. As we were walking, I felt so relaxed, so exhilarated, knowing that this day will pass by without the usual work pressure. I sat down on the bench while Tara ventured around. I find myself enjoying the fresh morning air, the peace and quiet. Even when I'm on leave from work, I still get calls from clients but today, I know that I won't be disturbed like before. I can't stop smiling to myself. I think I can do this everyday! Reading the papers, enjoying the morning breeze, while watching over Tara.



When we came back, I let Tara watched 30 mins of Hi-5, sang and danced with her, read 5 short board books, and tried to get her to nap. It wasn't easy. I had to close the day curtains, on the radio to symphony to create a condusive sleeping environment and pretend to sleep.

She's finally sleeping now. In the hall. With relaxing classical music. Hope she sleeps for at least 2 hours, so I can do my own stuff.

Now, I'm going to get some receipes from May's blog. Next week, I'm gonna cook proper meals for Tara, and Bob too. Yeah, I love my SAHM life. For now... at least..

Just no time...

I've got thousands of stuff to blog about, and tons of things to do. But I just don't have time for them.

Next Monday is my last day of work. Hope I will get to finished my list of tasks before my PILs go back to Kelantan. I will get Bob to send them all to Bob's aunt's place for 3 days while I get my house straighten out. The dining room is in a mess, the storeroom is chucked with stuff I don't need, the study room is littered with my scrapping purchases (this one I don't mind, I love the mess!!)

Must try to blog more. Now gotta do my reading, wind down and go to slumber land.

Old Navy Spree

I will close this spree on Monday 24th July 8pm.

Have posted a thread on Singapore Motherhood on the spree. Read here for the details.

Spree Maniac

I've been organising quite a number of sprees lately. Mostly for scrapbooking stuff. It's just so expensive to buy in Singapore! I've saved so much money buying direct from US. Now I find it difficult to spend in the LSS (local scrapbook stores).

My first spree was easy, cos it wasn't that "hot" yet. But the subsequent sprees, orders came pouring in! I took a lot of time sorting through orders, informing of out of stock items, checking for payment made. Some frustration and kind of pissed at those people changing their minds, removing this, adding that, giving the wrong links, sending the wrong formats, not transferring their money on time etc.

I've organised more than 5 sprees for both clothes and scrapping stuff and you know what? I actually find it quite fun!! When the orders are done, I have a sense of fulfilment too.

So tell you what. I'm gonna organise an Old Navy spree. Hehe, I know some of you are waiting for that right? I might not be getting anything myself. I'm just organising for fun! But don't worry huh, I make sure your orders will go through, but you must remember to pay me can?

Email me your orders in the standard Singapore Motherhood spree format. Don't know how? Drop me an email and I'll tell you..

I'm closing the spree on Sunday 23rd July 8pm. By tomorrow 8pm, I will open up the spree on Singapore Motherhood, if the orders not enough to justify shipping costs.

Happenings for the past 1 week

Haven't been writing this past week. It's not that I'm busy or something. Just that there's so much things to do in so little time. Every night, when I went home after work, I'm always asking myself, "blog? scrap? surf?". I usually choose to scrap and/or surf the net, but it's mostly scrapping related. Wow, think I'm obsessed with this hobby!

Okay, happenings over the past week in summarised point form:

• Had my first ever crop session with the TSL members on Saturday. A nice expat lady, Selena hosted the crop. Her apartment spacious enough to accommodate 3 oblong tables, which she borrowed from the serviced apartment management. Sis went along with me and we had a nice time scrapping, without disturbance and lots of guidance! Had lots of fun! Managed to finish 2 LOs.
  
  After the crop, we went to SDU and registered our basic/masters class for scrapbooking! Special rate for TSL members, we only need to pay $223 instead of the usual $280. Will be taking the lessons with Sis, every thursday afternoon for the whole of August. The course is about the fundamentals of scrapbooking and the different ways to achieve certain LO style etc. I'm so looking forward to it. And there's bound to be some "damage" when we stepped into a scrapbook store, I spent about $50 at Laine's. Bought the MM hybrid inks for my clear stamp. I stupidly used the cat's eye chalk on my beloved doodled brackets stamps and it's now got a permanent ink stain there, heart pain.

• Lucky Tara gets to try real gelato for the first time, with my permission, albeit a reluctant one. I'm very strict about what she eats and I usually omit overly sweet stuff from her diet. No candies, no ice-creams, no chocolates. If it ain't healthy, it ain't for my kid. So it's no salty snacks, and no fast food, except for the burger bun. I'm a firm believer of junk food = badly behaved unhealthy kid. No one seems to agree on this point except for Bob, cos we watched the Jamie Oliver's “Jamie's School Dinner” together. And it totally changed our perceptive towards giving Tara junk food.

• I splurged on a magazine that I don't need. I usually buy scrapping related magazines but this one comes with nice butterflies and flowers stamps! So I had to get it right? It cost me $13.90 for a copy and took me 5 mins to read from cover to cover. What a waste.

• Did a greeting card for a card challenge posted on TSL. Sis told me it looked like handbag. And I managed to put in the final embellishments for my scrapping tool box. I slept at almost 6am last Friday night just to get this toolbox done, cos I don't have any toolbox and I need to bring one for the crop session. Deviation from my normal style of sweet and flowery designs. This one is bold and colourful but I love it!
  
  
  
• Recently, Tara’s starting to sprint in a funny-duracell-bunny kind of way. Managed to capture it on video. But it's quite shaky cos I'm running after her at the same time. It's really cute to see her run like that. Always gets quite a few onlookers amused and laughing away.

• Took the MRT to work for the first time this morning. It's surprisingly fast and I reached office within half hour of getting on the train. Boarded at Boon Lay and alighted at Queenstown. Oh, I had to take a cab from the MRT station to my office cos I don't know which bus goes where. And I know I won't like the distance I have to walk from the bus stop to my office. I thought I forgot to bring my yellowing EZ link card and bought a single trip ticket at the station. Realised my yellowing card is in my purse and promptly topped up $30. How do I feel about the MRT trip? Hmmz, it's off peak hours when I boarded the train, so I'm able to get a nice seat and read my book for the whole trip. Nice, I would say. Allows me to catch up on my reading. I gotta take the train home later too. Bob's not free to pick me, or I guess, he's trying to get me used to taking a train and buses.

Gap Spree: Anybody wana join?

I'm interested to get these. But only these. Anyone wana join me for a spree? Email me by this Saturday 15th July 8pm.

The package

There there, it's finally here. Tara's clothes from Old Navy! I wanted to say the little girl was so excited about her bag of clothes, dragging here and there, tugging, pulling and trying to open the bag but nope, she didn't do all that. She's not interested in the package at all. She just poke a finger into the broken opening and walked away. This picture was posed. She was squatting there and I threw the package in front of her and quickly snapped a photo.

I'm the excited one instead. Slowly I take out the individually packed clothes, stack and unstack, contemplating whether to remove the plastic, choosing the ones that she can wear now etc. stack it back again and finally ripping off all the wrappings and admired the clothes piece by piece.

I love every single piece of the Old Navy clothes!! Love it, love it!

I'm gonna wash all of them tonight, will be bringing Tara to a dinner with one of my client tomorrow, she gotta be in her best!

Should I get more? Hmmz..

Tara's Milestone @ 20 months

Wow, that's fast. I was so occupied about my car that I forgot to update my baby's milestone! Then again, I didn't pay much attention to her recently. Yikes! Bad bad.

Okay, the little girl's feeding herself pretty okay now. Still some dribbles and drips here and there but she's doing fine. I bought a new set of fork and spoon for her. The holding area of the spoon and fork are tilted towards her so it's easier for her to scoop the food and put it into her mouth.

She can hold a cup and sip carefully too. The other day, she was trying to take her cup from my dresser which was slightly taller than her, unaware the cup was already empty, she carefully move it to the edge of the dresser and slowly lower it down to peer into the cup. That's cute! Now I'm thinking of letting her drink her milk from a cup instead. But I'll do that next month.

Tara's dancing a lot nowadays. From cutesy kiddo songs to hype beat disco songs! I think my nephew influenced her to all that. Javier is the dancing boy! And Tara loves to dance to Hi-5 songs especially. At any time any day, once I hit the beat on the Hi-5 song, she will start doing the Hi-5 dance. Darn cute. At times, I just need to go "1-2-3-4, Hi ~~" and she will do the Hi-5 sign. I even tried doing a silent one. I mouthed the words and signed the numbers, and this little one will sign 5 when I'm finished with 4.

And I swear, I heard her counting to 5 the other day. She was taking blocks from the bucket and counting "to, twee, for, fai". I told Bob I heard her counting but he said it's impossible she can count. I kept trying to make her do it again but she refused to.

Words she's been babbling recently. "Hi-5", "Bird", "Fish", "Bobby" (yeah, she knows how to call Bob by name), "Daddee" (finally it's dadee, not dada), "谢谢" (though it sounds more like dei dei).

Tara loves to brush her teeth! Every night, before we go to bed, she will walk to the basin area, point to her toothbrush and said "牙牙" (baby talk for 刷牙). There was one time when she was already dazed and going into dreamland, I asked her if she wana brush her teeth, her eyes immediately opened wide and she nodded her head. After I brushed her teeth, it took her almost 1 hour to settle down and go back to sleep. I actually regret asking her, but she took quite a bit of solid food that night so I must brush her teeth.

Her mood swings is still on the extreme side. Lovey-dovey-cutesy now, and teeth-baring-wailing-screaming the next moment. Wonder what can I do to curb the teeth baring periods.

New Status

Yup, I'm officially a public transport citizen.

Just came back from the car dealer, and for those who want to know, I didn't cry. Actually, I forgot to cry.

Why? Cos during the sorting out of paperwork, I realised the settlement amount is almost $1,000 more. And that's quite a shock. Bob had checked with the bank on full settlement in June and the amount should be even lesser but I was shown an amount so much higher. The dealer even show me the statement from the bank to support his claim. Bob will check on this with the bank. If it's $100 more, I might just forget about it. But $1,000?!

This afternoon, I went for lunch with my colleagues in my car. "The last time", I told them. And as I said, my tears flowed. And when I drove the car to the dealer, I was choking back tears. But when I saw the full settlement amount, I forgot to cry. My mind was too concentrated on calculating the right amount. But of course, I still feel sad.

This morning, when the car rolled out of the carpark down my block, I was full of emotions. In my heart I was thinking things like, wah, the last time the car will be parked here, the last time the car will travel this route, the last time the car will run on this highway, the last time I will hold this steering wheel, pull this hand brake, check this rear mirror and blah blah blah, all sorts of nonsense.

Kelvin said he will buy 4D with my car plate number and buy me lunch if he managed to win some money. I said I prefer a nissan sunny car model instead, best if it's remote control ones, so I can "drive" the car, and even better if he can get the car plate engraved with the same number as my car. I think I'm going crazy liao.

But the good thing is, no more monthly instalments of $700, no more season parking of $90, no more parking coupons, no more ERP charges, no more worries of illegal parking while I dashed around to get something done, and yeah, no more errands by Bob. Because I'm nearer to town, he would always throw me a few errands to run sometimes. And at times, it can be quite a hassle. Now he has to do it himself! And something else, no more headaches when going out with group of friends. The dilemma of who to fetch, who not to fetch is really a big headache.

Another headache, crop sessions will be so troublesome, cos there's so much things to carry and I gotta go on public transport. My meetings with Sis will be lesser too. Cos since I've got a car, I will pick her up from work sometimes.

Better get out my yellowing ez-link card, get it topped up and learn to navigate myself on the bus and mrt routes. For once, I'm grateful there's gonna be an mrt station just in front of my facing block.

I think I might just forget that the car is gone and still walk to the carpark as usual, rummage through my bag for the car key while searching for my car.

Well, I'm Miss Scatterbrain, you know. Sometimes, I just forget.

July Challenge "Embrace Yourself"

Love all the challenges posted on TSL. Gave me lots of chance to scrap on different themes and this particular challenge allowed me to scrap about myself for the first time.

This challenge is about embracing yourself. Anything about yourself! For example the really hideous haircut you had years back, the zits on your nose that refuse to go away, your flabby arms, your bulging tummy.

I had lots to scrap about actually, my big bunions on both my feet, my 2nd toe which is too protruding, my big tummy, my mass of stretch marks, my flat nose, my nostrils that flare out when I get too excited (don't try to observe when you see me the next time, I will feel uncomfortable, hehe).

I decided to do one about my left arm, the crooked left arm that is not noticeable unless I'm swinging my arm and you walking behind me, or if my mood is good and I straightened it suddenly and force you to see how crooked it is. Usually, I will consciously bend my arm, or hold my bag just to hide the crooked elbow.

I got teased and bullied quite a bit when I was young. But I never cry over it. Cos it's not a big deal to me. I learnt to embrace this imperfection.

Great challenge! And I love the layout! Very me. Simple. Not overly cluttered. Love scrapping!!

And here's the journaling, so you don't have to squint your eyes to read it:
"Boomerang - That's the name my husband gave my left arm, he said it looks arched and crooked, like a boomerang. I'm born with a normal left arm but an accident at 3 years old (actually 4, my sis told me) changed all that. Since then, I've been the butt of endless cruel jokes through my school days and mindless teasing well into my adulthood. I'm not proud of my arm but I'm not ashamed of it either. I have accepted it to be part of me that makes the unique me. Sometimes I'm still pretty conscious of it and tried to hide my (the crook in my) arm but sometimes I heck it all and swing it freely. I told my friends, in future, no matter how much I've changed or even if I should encountered any freak accident and become unrecognizable, they can still identify me by my left arm, my boomerang."

Confirmed..

It's finalized, the paperwork are almost done. I'll be sending my car to the dealer this Wednesday morning. Haiz..

Cleared out the stuff in my car with a heavy heart on Saturday. So sad. Can't bear to let go. The car is no longer just a car to me, it's like a reliable friend who brings me around anywhere and everywhere I wana go. Yeah, gonna miss my friend.

Bob said I must be wishing that he will go outstation more often, so I get to drive his car. Hmmz, it's still not the same as driving my own car, since I'm so used to it already.

It's gonna be so hard for me this Wednesday. I hope I won't cry. Cos it's so silly to cry over a car, ain't it?

*sniffle*

Mimi Storage Totes!!

I want these! In PINK and Chocolate!! Delicious!


Mimi Travelmate Scrap Tote


Mimi Medium Wheeled Tote

Look at how much stuff this baby can hold!!


I really wana have these 2 totes. Even though I haven't went to any crop sessions, yet. I WANT THEM!!! I WANT THEM!! I WANT THEM!! Yeah, that's how badly I want these pretty totes.

Just told Bob for any gifts that he wana get me, I have to choose the gifts. Cos I really wana get these babies and now, only he can afford it. And this irritating guy said to Tara: "Darling, you know what Mummy saying? I can't hear her. Lalalala".

Grrr..

Frustration

My MIL threw away the brush I used for cleaning the drinking tube for Tara's water bottles. I couldn't find it last month after she left, so I bought a new one, thinking I might have misplaced it.

Just now, I realised it's missing again so I asked my MIL (she's here again) did she see it. She told me she threw it away! I asked her why and she said there's a small brush attached to the bigger brush used to clean the milk bottles (I still don't understand this part) so she threw the slim brush away. She also threw the previous one away too.

Exasperated, I told her the brushes serve different purposes! The smaller one attached to the big brush is for milk teats and the slim one she threw away is for the drinking tube!

I'm not angry at the money wasted, both cost me less than $10 in total. I'm just frustrated that she can throw my things in my house without asking me first!

Just when I thought I can accept her staying over my place so often. Urgghhhh..

Discipline Tara

All the while, I've been using Supernanny's "naughty corner" method to discipline Tara. She's getting really impossible nowadays (yeah, I realised I've been repeating that a lot these days), she would off the switch while we watch TV, off the fan again and agin, growl when we gave her food but didn't let her hold the spoon, lie on the floor of the shopping mall when she wasn't allowed to go where she wants to go and etc, etc of endless "stunts" she's pulling. Although I tried to keep to the naughty corner method, I admit I did lax a little and hence, she wasn't really "intimidated" when I said I'm gonna put her there.

So recently, I made sure I will punish her everytime she does something unacceptable. Now, she finally understand what is naughty corner. I've finally instilled into her little head:

naughty --> punish --> naughty corner.

She hates the naughty corner and would try to run or crawl or creep away and would bawled at the top of her voice when she's being punished. Even though it breaks both mine and Bob's(especially Bob) heart to hear her cry like that, I told Bob it's for everyone's best interest. I don't want the little girl to grow up thinking she can get away with anything and everything.

MIL came yesterday and today, for the first time, saw how I punish the little girl. She didn't come cajoled Tara nor tried to take her away from the monster mummy, but kept telling Tara to apologize to me. I'm really grateful for that, cos I don't wish anyone to interfere when I punish my child. But she did tell me not to let her cry too much. When she first break into cries, she couldn't catch her breath on her first sob and turned blue on her lips. That scared the hell out of my MIL.

And I also realised another method that is pretty good. Ignoring her. Just now, I wanted to clean and change her for bed but she refused to follow me into the room and sat on the dining floor, fussing. I ignored her and closed the door to our room. She stood at the door crying till Bob carried her in and quietly lie down while I changed and cleaned her. Yeah, that is effective as well.

Now, I'm thinking for ways to discipline her when we go out. I can't possibly let her stand in the corner nor can I ignore her. Too bad I had to return the Supernanny book before I get to finished it, I wonder if the book says anything about keeping a toddler under control in the public. It's really embarrassing when you alone, trying to pull your screaming kiddo off the floor, while holding to bags of food, and with passer-bys looking on. Yeah, happened to me last week at Jurong Point.

I used to be critical of parents who can't control their child. But now that I'm a parent of one such kid, I realised it's easier said than done. But I never let myself stand and look while Tara misbehave, I will still tell her it's wrong and pull her away or something. Yes, a kid can go out of control, but just don't be the sort of parents who just look on at the commotion and doing nothing. It's the worst type of parents in my opinion.